| finally something for the lazy people! thanks to the magic of ai, you can now read the condensed version of our tours, the ukfu story and more in a minute or less read and one never-before published picture. people, this is what ai's for, not stealing jobs! enjoy. |
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| Never Never Ozsome Tour 2013 |
| Over 33 days, Jeremy & Florian cycled 4,191km across Australia - from Melbourne to Darwin - through the Great Ocean Road, the desolate Outback & the tropical north. Battling relentless headwinds, scorching heat [up to 46°C] & swarms of flies, they pedaled past red-soiled deserts, ghost towns and roadkill-strewn highways, where road trains roared past like "radio-controlled predators". The Outback tested their endurance with its monotony and isolation, punctuated only by eerie roadhouses like Barrel Creek, infamous for its grizzly history. In Alice Springs, they celebrated halfway with cold beers and hearty food, while encounters with Aborigines and eccentric travelers added cultural depth. The final stretch into Darwin brought lush tropics, wallabies and croc-infested rivers. Despite arriving exhausted - salt-crusted and sun-beaten - the journey's end felt abrupt, leaving Jeremy reflecting on the raw beauty & solitude of crossing a continent via pedal power. The tour, though flatter than past adventures, proved grueling due to climate and wind, yet the achievement of traversing Australia's vastness - embracing its dangers, emptiness and fleeting human connections - made it unforgettable. As Jeremy wrote: "The way is the goal".  |
| Grounded Tour 2012 |
| Jeremy & Florian embarked on a 350-mile hiking tour from Freiburg to Chamonix over 15 days, accompanied by Jeremy's dog, Quivo. The journey began with logistical chaos - minimal sleep, heavy packs and a multi-train ride to Freiburg. Despite blisters, fatigue & Florian's waning motivation, they averaged 25 miles daily, traversing Switzerland's Jura mountains and lake Geneva's shores. Quivo proved resilient, though his paw shoes caused issues Switzerland's trails were well-marked but taxing, with steep climbs and costly supplies. Florian lamented the slow pace compared to biking, while Jeremy embraced the challenge, though both struggled with physical strain. A dog fine in France and freezing alpine nights tested morale. Reaching Chamonix, they celebrated with Raclette but abandoned their original Monaco goal due to time constraints. In hindsight, Jeremy acknowledged miscalculations - unexpected detours & trail distances - extending the required time. Florian, though critical of hiking's grind, valued the achievement. Quivo emerged as the tour's unsung hero. Despite unmet ambitions, the journey underscored resilience and adaptability, leaving Jeremy reflective yet proud. The epilogue hinted at future adventures, with lessons learned & assumptions discarded.  |
| Los Pirineos Tour 2011 |
| Jeremy & Florian completed a 14-day, 500-mile mountain biking journey across the Pyrenees, from the Atlantic to the Mediterranean. Battling rugged terrain, unpredictable weather & frequent bike repairs, they averaged 35-50 miles daily with climbs up to 8,000 feet. The tour began in Biarritz, weaving through France and Spain, with challenges like rocky trails, relentless flies & a leaking stove. Florian struggled with motivation, while Jeremy embraced the adventure, despite a hand injury and constant tire issues. They relied on makeshift fixes - duct-taped tires, patched tubes - and dodged fines from la guarda civil for illegal camping Highlights included breathtaking alpine views, remote villages and the camaraderie of shared hardship. A grueling final stretch featured rain, wind & numbingly cold descents before reaching Canet-en-Roussillon. Relief and pride marked their finish, though Jeremy mused on the dissonance between "tour life" and routine. Dinners: Meals like couscous with chorizo, pasta in cream sauce and restaurant squid celebrated their resilience. Lesson: Mastery of the journey, not the destination, defined their success.  |
| Great Divide Tour 2010 |
| In the summer of 2010, Jeremy Boissel & Florian Weber embarked on an extraordinary cycling adventure along North America's legendary "Great Divide Mountain Bike Route". Over 50 arduous days, they covered 5,070km with 54,070 meters of elevation gain, pushing their limits across some of the continent's most challenging terrain on their Carver Pure bikes. Their journey began in Banff, Canada, winding through Montana's untamed wilderness where elk crossed their path and grizzlies roamed nearby. In Wyoming, endless plains tested their resolve against relentless headwinds, while Colorado's towering peaks pushed them to new heights - literally - as they conquered the 3,630m Indian Pass. The desert landscapes of New Mexico brought new challenges: Scorching heat, water shortages and sand that seemed determined to halt their progress. Against all warnings, they pedaled into Mexico, discovering unexpected warmth & hospitality before reaching their final destination in Juárez. The adventure didn't end there - they celebrated their achievement by exploring San Francisco's vibrant fixie culture and catching a baseball game in Seattle. Through it all, their equipment proved as resilient as their spirits. The bikes endured punishing trails without major issues, suffering only a handful of flat tires despite the brutal conditions. As Jeremy put it: "Head down, push through - bull mentality!" Their incredible journey wasn't just about covering distance, but about embracing the raw beauty of the landscapes, the kindness of strangers and the profound satisfaction of accomplishing something truly extraordinary on two wheels.  |
| Eurasia Tour 2009 |
| Jeremy, Martin & Florian cycled 5,927km from Germany to Israel, trading comfort for the raw thrill of the open road. Through 11 countries, yes, counting Palestine - across Europe's storms, Turkey's scorching plateaus & Syria's Euphrates shores - they battled hailstorms, 40°C heat and bureaucratic borders. Their gear was tested as fiercely as their resolve: Jeremy's Carver bike conquering Romanian potholes, Martin's oil-leaking Rohloff hub surviving Turkish climbs and Florian patching tires mid-downpour. Strangers became lifelines - Turkish villagers gifting baklava, Syrian families sharing wells & Israeli soldiers reluctantly stamping passports. The contrast haunted them: Romania's horse carts besides new highways, Jerusalem's checkpoints after Damascus' rubble. At the Dead Sea, floating at -417m, exhaustion gave way to awe. 72 days later, they returned changed. The road had stripped life to its essentials - Martin's repaired brakes, Florian's sunburnt arms, Jeremy's grandmother's loss carried up Jerusalem's hills. Freedom, they learned, wasn't in Israel's finish line, but in the Turkish headwinds, Bulgarian starry nights and shared silence when words failed. Three riders. Two continents. One lesson learned: The world gives you back what you put into it.  |
| Tour d'Afrique 2007 |
| In 2007, Team Gold - Martin Boitz, Jeremy Boissel & Florian Weber - embarked on a 3,050km bike-packing journey from Mainz, Germany to Tangier, Marrocco, through France and Spain. Later, Team Red (Marlene Bockelmann, Sebastian Boitz & Jacqueline Becker) joined them in Biarritz. The tour began along Germany's Rhine river, with campfires, improvised meals & rainy challenges in France's Vosges mountains. After enduring storms, they dried out in Épinal and cycled through central France, celebrating Florian's first 1,000km milestone. Reaching the Bay of Biscay, they faced duck-hunting gunfire before entering the Basque country, where Martin's stolen cash nearly derailed the trip. Climbing Monte Santiago's steep switchbacks & exploring Bilbao's Guggenheim, the group endured Extremadura's heat before arriving in Sevilla. A ferry took them from Tarifa to Tangier, Morocco, where they camped in a mosque plaza under police watch. After just 17 hours in Africa, they returned to Spain, flying home from Málaga - sunburned, exhausted but triumphant.  |
| The UkFu Story |
| UkFu: A Chaos Manifesto In 1993, two Massachusetts teens - Jeremy Boissel & Jeff Tripp - forged UkFu, a scrambled rebellion against conformity. Born from skateboards, Pantera shirts and government cheese, it distilled "Fuck You" into a 4-letter enigma. Their quantum wordplay [3421 = reordered FUKU] weaponized absurdity, scribbled on blackboards and beamed into the cosmos via imaginary radio waves. Through high school detention, fake beepers and a papier-mâché piñata's chainsaw execution, UkFu becomes a mantra: entropy as art, dissent as doctrine. Jeremy's verbose memoir - laced with math rants, alien conspiracies and Renée's yearbook ghost - frames UkFu as the universe's true lingua franca. Decades later, UkFu persists: a tesseract of middle fingers, a "Q.E.D." against sanity. Whether Jeff's a lawyer or a hermit with Ferraris, their creation outlives Blockbusters, Reebok Pumps and the Neanderthal's apple logic. Final verdict? UkFu - the answer when 42 won't suffice. Appendix: · Soundtrack: Pearl Jam, Guiseppe Verdi to Sir Mix-a-lot · Relics: Jeff's cheese-stained letter, skateboard scars · Art: Doodles of Señora's "universal" derrière Disclaimer: Complaints? UkFu.  |
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